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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jun 17, 2005 21:14:10 GMT -5
Ok this is a little situation which is similar to foblin's I suppose. See, I am a paronoid person living in fear of a lot of people; adult men in particular. A girl in my class was abducted and raped and it really left me upset and scared of course for her but myself as well. Over a few years there had been a serial rapist in my area so i was always precatious...and sometimes now im too precatious becuase I obsess about my fears and get anxious and let them interfear with my life. Ok let me explain the thing now... My mom does catoring and I help her sometimes if she needs me and there is this custodian janitor person there who everyone is "iffy" about. No one knows his name or who hired him... He never says a word but will stand hovered near you staring at you for 5 minutes straight; follow you or stare into your eyes from a distance.... I get so scared and I really let it get to me today and made yet another scene about how freaked out i was My mom gave me a lecture on how I could be hurting this innocent man's feelings  No joke. The man hasnt done anything....but theres things i just dont like about him. I get chills up my spine and the world freezes when he looks at me. Thats how scared I get...then for the next hour my mind ponders over what COULD happen and how I could be in danger and.... well his hovering, following and staring lasted the whole day into the late evening.... I was in this huge room alone where we serve dinner in and on the left wall there is an open door to a little room (sort of like a storage room) that is filled with chairs...he was standing in the doorway with the lights off in the room just staring at me and staring and standing still and staring intentivly and I thought i was gona die....  help |
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Post by starryeyes on Jun 17, 2005 21:21:54 GMT -5
first of all.... you have aright to be scared... there is a serial rapist loose and there is a strange man who stares at you. you're not hurting his feelings if you freak out. you have a right to ( i would be freaking out so much!) but as for help... i dunno as long as he hasn't done anything then there's nothing really you can do. premonitions are the worst..... i've gotten them before. maybe try avoiding him for a while?
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod 
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Jun 18, 2005 7:48:35 GMT -5
 That IS my situation! (minus the serial rapist bit) I know it's difficult but you've got a chance of avoiding him. Just try to stay away from him, like Chloe said. Or......follow the advice you gave on my thread? I know it's a very icky situation to be in.
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jun 18, 2005 8:45:13 GMT -5
I cant really follow any advice becuase my mom thinks its absurd. theres really no one to tell like a school official becuase its at my moms work and she already knows my fear and thinks its stupid  |
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Jun 25, 2005 20:03:59 GMT -5
My Mom thought it was stupid too  Bah! Moms are stupid  |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 4, 2005 6:12:29 GMT -5
*cheers and smiles* EVIE you "BAH!" just like meeee!!!!
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Jul 4, 2005 11:26:32 GMT -5
Do I? I didn't realise!! lol! ;D Awesome #3126452#
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7236
Necrotic Newbie
I speak from the heart
Posts: 107
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Post by 7236 on Jul 16, 2005 20:09:12 GMT -5
Ok this is a little situation which is similar to foblin's I suppose. See, I am a paronoid person living in fear of a lot of people; adult men in particular. A girl in my class was abducted and raped and it really left me upset and scared of course for her but myself as well. Over a few years there had been a serial rapist in my area so i was always precatious...and sometimes now im too precatious becuase I obsess about my fears and get anxious and let them interfear with my life. Ok let me explain the thing now... My mom does catoring and I help her sometimes if she needs me and there is this custodian janitor person there who everyone is "iffy" about. No one knows his name or who hired him... He never says a word but will stand hovered near you staring at you for 5 minutes straight; follow you or stare into your eyes from a distance.... I get so scared and I really let it get to me today and made yet another scene about how freaked out i was My mom gave me a lecture on how I could be hurting this innocent man's feelings No joke. The man hasnt done anything....but theres things i just dont like about him. I get chills up my spine and the world freezes when he looks at me. Thats how scared I get...then for the next hour my mind ponders over what COULD happen and how I could be in danger and.... well his hovering, following and staring lasted the whole day into the late evening.... I was in this huge room alone where we serve dinner in and on the left wall there is an open door to a little room (sort of like a storage room) that is filled with chairs...he was standing in the doorway with the lights off in the room just staring at me and staring and standing still and staring intentivly and I thought i was gona die.... help i understand where you are coming from.. i was raped when i was 15 years old.. i was spared the memory of this becuase i was drugged.. scenario: i went to my friends 16th bday party, and she called me over to meet her sister who drove 3,000 + miles to be there for her bday party. i didnt want to accidently spill my soda on anything, so i set it down on the table and went to go meet her sister. after about 5 mins i went back to the living room, saw my soda and finished it off.. the next thing i know, it is already the next morning and i am naked from the waist down, sore and could hardly walk.. i got examined by a doctor who concluded the obvious and went to the police only to be told that they could not make a case considering i the fact that i could not remember anything else after i had finished my soda.. the point is this.. you cannot live your life in constant fear of others, because in the end it will only consume you and prevent you from living your life as a normal person. if you fear that these things will happen, then you take up a self-defense course, or a martial arts course.. do ing these things will not only make your body strong, but they will also build courage and self confidence, boost your self-esteem and finally, nurture your instincts. as for your mom, if she cannot see that you are scared, and that you need to be protected, then she cannot protect you, and that is when it becomes your duty to protect yourself. i hope this helps..  |
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me
Necrotic Newbie
Love isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
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Post by me on Jul 22, 2005 9:01:37 GMT -5
if you're in a crowded area where he obviously can't do you any harm without other people noticing, just ignore him and make a point of not looking over at him. but if you're in an area where there's not many people.... well, if he 'hovers' near you like you said he does, just walk away and pretend you're doing something else, or if he's staring at you, don't act scared, that let's him know you're scared of him. if you happen to glance over at him, just glance away but make sure you look him in the eyes and glare or something. that usually freaks them out more than you think.
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Post by lostsoul on Aug 14, 2005 19:37:37 GMT -5
Hey I'M A MOM!!! I can't believe your mom says its stupid to be scared of this guy. When my two kids say they are scared of someone, I don't make them go near the person or around them. I respect their choice and sit down with them and talk it over with them. They are still young but I still talk to them and find out why they are scared then I keep them away. In your case though Afflicted Angel, your mom should be more open minded about how you feel when this guy is around you. He may not have done anything yet but is your mom waiting for him to do something then say "oh, i should have listened to my daughter when she came to me and told me about this guy".  |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Aug 14, 2005 21:31:03 GMT -5
She doesnt listen to me becuase im scared of so many things...if i ever tell her im scared or sad she makes that horrid "oh no not again my daughter is crazy face", sighs and ignores it saying its a phase and she cant deal with it. I use her as a saftey net becuase i have no one really to depend on and i know i should be independent and not scared of the world but well im not like other people i guess. I think shes trying to pull away becuase she wants me to deal with it myself...which is reasonable i guess. I just hate that she makes it seem like shes not concerned with me, but concerned with the fact that im abnormally scared or sad...the abnormal part |
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Post by changeling on Aug 20, 2005 20:40:30 GMT -5
Hi, i'm new here...
It's always important to trust your instincts - if something about this guy gives you the creeps then trust your gut even if your mom is not listening to you right now. I know other people said this already, but it can't be emphasized enough - never be alone anywhere near that guy - make sure other catering staff members you are comfortable with or your mom are always nearby. Would it be possible for you to take some self-defense classes? You could try to sell that to your mom by saying it builds confidence/reduces anxiety. if you don't want to take any classes where you would have to practice in front of others, you could look up stuff online - sometimes feeling prepared makes a big difference. i would like to eventually take some kind of class like that myself bec i think it would help -I was attacked when i was a kid and have been paranoid ever since- being aware of who is around you and what (i.e. something you can use to defend yourself if someone gets too close) is always a good idea.
also, maybe so your mom does not get in trouble at work, you could send a typed anonymous note to a supervisor or owner there indicating that you have seen a man in janitor's clothes at the building several times (try to give a detailed physical description), that no other employees seem to know who he is, that he frequently leers young girls, and that you are a 'concerned citizen' or something and that you just want to make sure he actually belongs in the building and is not just a predator wearing a fake janitor uniform because there is still a serial rapist on the loose in your area. not sure how big the company your mom works for is or how realistic sending a note like that would be, but maybe it would help...
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Aug 21, 2005 18:40:10 GMT -5
Hi, i'm new here... Would it be possible for you to take some self-defense classes? You could try to sell that to your mom by saying it builds confidence/reduces anxiety. if you don't want to take any classes where you would have to practice in front of others, you could look up stuff online - sometimes feeling prepared makes a big difference. i would like to eventually take some kind of class like that myself bec i think it would help -I was attacked when i was a kid and have been paranoid ever since- being aware of who is around you and what (i.e. something you can use to defend yourself if someone gets too close) is always a good idea. Ideffinetly agree, with all youve said and im thinking about actually going to talk to my mom bout it...i dont know if i have it in me though i may look stuff up on the internet meanwhile...as for the letter; that seems a little iffy on my half becuase i know it would make me really nervous and the outcome could easily not go as planned; still its a good thought and major thank yous....every bit of help is loads. welcome to WTD by the way |
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Post by changeling on Aug 21, 2005 19:14:34 GMT -5
good luck and be careful.
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Post by wingedgothgrl on Sept 19, 2005 3:03:19 GMT -5
Lemme just say this.....we are the ONLY mamal, animal or being that doesn't follow our own natural intincts. We try to rationalize our feelings and emotions and intuitive knowing into logical reason. I say BULLSHIT. I follow my every instinct and hunny, I say you follow yours and don't let ANYONE tell you differently, ever. If you feel spooked, run, & scream. If he ever approaches you in a dark or unoccupied place, make a scene and run like hell. I'd rather look stupid or embarrassed than dead.
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No joke.
That IS my situation! (minus the serial rapist bit) I know it's difficult but you've got a chance of avoiding him. Just try to stay away from him, like Chloe said. 
Bah! Moms are stupid 
