7236
Necrotic Newbie
I speak from the heart
Posts: 107
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Post by 7236 on Aug 6, 2005 21:23:17 GMT -5
fallen, i feel you there, i really do.. i live in a neighborhood where i am ostracized because i choose to spend my nights at home with a book, or my computer than to get caught up in the latest he said she said crap.. my neighbors say im stuck up because i keep to my self. it is really sad when the same girls you played jump rope with when you were younger are all pregnant and they dont know who the father is. i am back in school now so i can try to do something with my life, and they have a problem with it.. after my great grandmother died, i moved in with my bf, because that apartment got lonely.. but his neighborhood is no better. yeah its relatively safe, but you wouldnt believe how many teens i see pregnant around here. it is really sad.. i dont and i wont say anything because they'll probably call me a racist.. (i'm in spanish harlem) so i try to keep my head high as well, and focus toward the future. i told my bf that everything we want in life, we will get, we just have to work hard for it..   <= im sorry but that is just too cool.. |
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Aug 7, 2005 7:53:57 GMT -5
I hope you move soon too fallen, it must be awful  As for 50 cent.....He, apparently, used to be a 'gangsta' and was convicted of shooting someone during a gang fight. That's just a rumor I've heard, but If it's true then he's trying to glorify the crimes he's committed, it makes me sick. |
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Post by sereneinsanity on Aug 7, 2005 21:16:22 GMT -5
you have such a beautiful smile, captivating. when you stop putting yourself down and speaking bad of your appearance, your beauty will truly shine.
may i ask for some help with something related to this topic. i am new here, im still trying to figure out how to navagate the site and i cant seem to figure out how to post pictures. help?
love
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Aug 9, 2005 6:14:02 GMT -5
check out the "testing avatars and pics section in a bit; i will put up a general help thread; step by step |
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7236
Necrotic Newbie
I speak from the heart
Posts: 107
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Post by 7236 on Aug 14, 2005 22:57:18 GMT -5
Thank you sereneinsanity for the compliment. I appreciate it. |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Aug 15, 2005 11:10:41 GMT -5
thanks you all *happy dances*
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Post by forgottenshadow on Sept 2, 2005 3:42:29 GMT -5
I probably shouldn't be writing this here but oh well. I've had low self-esteem (no self-esteem is more like it) for years. my "best friends" were telling me that I'm the ugliest thing they'd ever seen and couldn't stand to look at me. My mum spent time everyday telling me in these exact words "your face is disgusting". i cant stand to look in a mirror. i hate my body, it's disgusting, and my face is horrible. I've stuck a thing on my mirror right where my face goes so that i cant see it when i brush my hair of a morning. people say I'm far too skinny, but i disagree, i want to loose weight  . even though my mum and doctor think i have anorexia. it's so stupid. I begin to think that i wouldn't even have these thoughts if it wasn't for society being so screwed up. but i lived with this for 2 years, and now it's almost been a year since then and i still cant/wont believe it when someone says I'm pretty. My boyfriend says he loves me, and says that I'm so hot, and babbles on about how great i am, but i cant believe him. I'm so ugly. and he's so much better than me. he wont stop saying how great i am, but i only think it's because of what someone said before about saying something to make someone feel better about themselves. I cant stand the human race because of what they do to people just as equal as them. we should all get a fair chance. oh and by the way, all you girls who've posted pictures of yourselves are so beautiful!! I wish i was half as beautiful as you girls! |
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Sept 5, 2005 12:13:56 GMT -5
If you were only half as beautiful as us I bet you'd be a hell of alot uglier than you are now ;D *Is trying to say that you look gorgeous*
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Post by forgottenshadow on Sept 7, 2005 3:06:44 GMT -5
You don't know what i look like... and trust me... you dont want to
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7236
Necrotic Newbie
I speak from the heart
Posts: 107
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Post by 7236 on Sept 7, 2005 10:30:56 GMT -5
I probably shouldn't be writing this here but oh well. I've had low self-esteem (no self-esteem is more like it) for years. my "best friends" were telling me that I'm the ugliest thing they'd ever seen and couldn't stand to look at me. My mum spent time everyday telling me in these exact words "your face is disgusting". i cant stand to look in a mirror. i hate my body, it's disgusting, and my face is horrible. I've stuck a thing on my mirror right where my face goes so that i cant see it when i brush my hair of a morning. people say I'm far too skinny, but i disagree, i want to loose weight . even though my mum and doctor think i have anorexia. it's so stupid. I begin to think that i wouldn't even have these thoughts if it wasn't for society being so screwed up. but i lived with this for 2 years, and now it's almost been a year since then and i still cant/wont believe it when someone says I'm pretty. My boyfriend says he loves me, and says that I'm so hot, and babbles on about how great i am, but i cant believe him. I'm so ugly. and he's so much better than me. he wont stop saying how great i am, but i only think it's because of what someone said before about saying something to make someone feel better about themselves. I cant stand the human race because of what they do to people just as equal as them. we should all get a fair chance. oh and by the way, all you girls who've posted pictures of yourselves are so beautiful!! I wish i was half as beautiful as you girls! omigod.. first of all if your "best friends" are telling you how ugly you are then they are not your best friends.. they are people who need to feel good about themselves by putting you down, and playing upon your insecurities. thats not cool at all. foblin has a point, as i have told angel, we dont need to see what you look like to know that you are beautiful. because true beauty comes from within.. you can look like shakira or beyonce, or who ever society just-so-happens to say is "beautiful", but if you have a tongue like a razor blade, and you are constantly condescending to others, while being majorly conceited.. it wont matter what you look like because people wont wnat to know you anyway.. all of the ladies here are very beautiful.. with and without seeing the pics. because their beauty radiates thru their personalities. about your mom, i cant imagine what that is like, and i am very sorry that you have to put up with your mothers condescending remarks as well.. your mother should be the one person you can get guaranteed reassurance from.. and should also appreciate your beauty DESPITE what ANYONE else says or thinks period. my mother and i didnt always get along, and she has said some hurtful things, but that is the one thing that she has NEVER said to me. it seems to me that your mom, along with your "best friends" have some issues of their own, that they cannot deal with by themselves, and with their own inner strength.. and so they get their "strength" by putting you down and building themselves up in the proccess. which to me shows how truly fucked up they are for doing this. you hhave toxic people in your life and the sooner you get away from them the better. while you cant really do anything about your mom, you can most definitely nix the friendship with your "best friends" and if your mom says something about you then you ignore her. for every bad thing she says about you, think about her and her issues, (i mean she must really be going thru hell if shes gotta put her own daughter down right?), and think about the good things your boyfriend says about you. it may get hard at first, but will definitely become easier as time progresses. about your boyfriend, you need to acknowledge and listen him when he compliments you. because he seems to be the only person that is trying to build you up and not tear you down. my boyfriend says the same things to me.. even on my worse days when my hair is a mess, and i feel like shit all around.. and in a really bitchy mood, he doesnt hesitate to tell me how beautiful i am. even if we have an arguement, he doesnt hesistate to tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful i am.. so if your bf tells you how beautiful you are.. flash him a big smile, and thanks, and give him a big kiss and hug and let his words sink in. GOD knows youve had more than enough people putting you down already and you could definitely use the compliment. yes, you are right about society being "screwed up" <= that is probably the "nicest" term for that, that i have seen yet. but societys definition of beauty is one-sided. and thank you for the compliment. I hope this helps. |
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Sept 7, 2005 11:35:25 GMT -5
My mom spends most days telling me i'm fat so I know how you feel.
but anyway....as black angel says, beauty does come from within, also remember everyone has bad points to their appearance and everyone has good points. No one's perfect and no one ever will be =)
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Post by starryeyes on Sept 7, 2005 13:55:34 GMT -5
My mom says I need to excercise... and i do sometimes... but apparently jumping up and down to loud rock music is not enough excercise  My Advice : No matter how you look, you will find friends (it might take a while or it might not) who will like you for who you are. |
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Post by forgottenshadow on Sept 8, 2005 4:54:53 GMT -5
Thank you so much Black Angel. You are truly a great person with a huge heart, and i can tell just by reading what you've said. I've now abandoned those 'best friends'. And i had enough of my mum and went off at her and walked out of the house screaming that i'm leaving because it's the only thing that'll make her happy. Since then she's realised what she's done to me. Finally. I wish i could believe what my boyfriend says, but whenever he says something good i just remember everything bad. I love him with all of my heart and i'd do anything for him. But i know he doesn't love me that much. He means the world to me. I'vegot new friends now, and they are good. some of them give compliments, but i cant believe them either. I wish i could. Yeah, I know what you mean Foblin and StarryEyes.my mum critisized/critisizes almost everything i do. StarryEyes. To what you said... Some people i've just met i know like me for who i am, or who i seem to be. but my boyfriend i don't know why he likes me. he says he loves me, and i wanted to know why, and he said stuff about my smile and my personality and stuff. but it didn't seem like love. i don't it might be me and my pessimistic thinking, but i wished he loved me. not as much as i love him, i just wish he loved me. i mean after all.. i think i'm ready to loose my virginity with him . like i said. i'd do anything for him. |
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Post by forgottenshadow on Sept 8, 2005 4:56:14 GMT -5
Oh, and i know i keep saying it, but you are truly the most beautiful people
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7236
Necrotic Newbie
I speak from the heart
Posts: 107
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Post by 7236 on Sept 9, 2005 10:29:03 GMT -5
Thank you so much Black Angel. You are truly a great person with a huge heart, and i can tell just by reading what you've said. I've now abandoned those 'best friends'. And i had enough of my mum and went off at her and walked out of the house screaming that i'm leaving because it's the only thing that'll make her happy. Since then she's realised what she's done to me. Finally. I wish i could believe what my boyfriend says, but whenever he says something good i just remember everything bad. I love him with all of my heart and i'd do anything for him. But i know he doesn't love me that much. He means the world to me. I'vegot new friends now, and they are good. some of them give compliments, but i cant believe them either. I wish i could. Yeah, I know what you mean Foblin and StarryEyes.my mum critisized/critisizes almost everything i do. StarryEyes. To what you said... Some people i've just met i know like me for who i am, or who i seem to be. but my boyfriend i don't know why he likes me. he says he loves me, and i wanted to know why, and he said stuff about my smile and my personality and stuff. but it didn't seem like love. i don't it might be me and my pessimistic thinking, but i wished he loved me. not as much as i love him, i just wish he loved me. i mean after all.. i think i'm ready to loose my virginity with him . like i said. i'd do anything for him. Thank you for the compliment, i really appreciate it. I am glad that you have since gotten rid of your friends, because no one should really have to put up with that.. hopefully now things will be patched up between you and your mom, i really hope that things turn out better for you. About the virginity thing, you should only go thru with it if you feel that you are emotionally, mentally, and physically ready to take that GIANT step. Try asking yourself "why do i think i am ready to do this?" and if you can come up with an answer that you are comfortable with, the answer sits right with you, and you answer that question without making any reference to your boyfriend what-so-ever (meaning you dont mention him at all when making your decision) then so be it. But do not make the mistake of taking that step with your boyfriend just because he helped you through a bad time ok? Doing this will only cause you a new set of problems that you neither want or need right now. |
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<= im sorry but that is just too cool.. 
. even though my mum and doctor think i have anorexia. it's so stupid.
