What is wrong with you people?

[7236]

ok i have read the threads in this forum, and i saw the pics.. you are all beautiful!!!! you would be even prettier if you all smilied more.. but other than that you gals are gorgeous.. and you are all skinny... i'm kinda jealous! ok wait no im not becuase pamela anderson spent alot of money to get something that i grew naturally.. boobs..
but that is neither here nor there..

you girls are beautiful.. naturally.. ok? you dont need black makeup, or lipstick.. because that only hides your beauty. just smile.

in case you havent noticed.. or maybe you did but you were too nice to say something... I'M FAT..



my body is kinda weird.. becuase well at 240lbs.. i look like i am 160.. (i blame the weight training classes) my legs, calves are like steel becuase i can push up to 600lbs of weight with them.. i have a big ass.. and i wear a 54DD cup... ok? you know what that means? no paris hilton, or britney spears body for me.. (not that i want one..lol) don't get me wrong or anything, i look damn good in a dress, but i still cringe when i see myself in a mirror.. lmao.. however, i don't dwell on these things becuase they are not important to me. I am happily in love with my boyfriend, whom i've been with for the last 5 years. and he loves me for who i am inside. (it also helps that he is very attracted to me but thats beside the point.) I have learned that it doesnt pay to worry over the trivial things such as appearance, becuase was good is appearance if you have the personallity of a troll, the intellect of a doorknob, and a heart of ice?

[foblin]

You're very pretty too Everyone here is!! We are the pretty boardies all in one forum!!! teehee

I usually don't say I look pretty because I don't want to seem big headed

[7236]

thanx hun.. and i understand that because i thought the same way.. but you see there is a difference between boosting your self image and boasting about it.. if you look at yourself in the mirror and realize how beautiful you are, then that is not wrong.. but if you boast about it and rib it in others peoples faces, then that is wrong, and ironically it makes you an ugly person.

[Graveyard Goddess]

to put it simply, ive had body dysmorphia for a long time now. I hate it and i am aware its there. With a rational mind i know im being irrational and not thinking clearly...but when I was 80lbs last year I had aspired to look like a girl who was over 100lbs becuase I thought she was skinnier than I was....its a mental image and I know that people will never truly want to know who I am as a person becuase people can tell I dont like who I am by the image I send them...not by my lack of colour in my wardrobe but by my eyes which are almost naturally sleepy and mopey looking and by my almost instictual tendency to wrap my arms around myself and my stomache as if it hides me from people. I hate this but ive only recently become aware of it. I dont think it matters if I am fat or not. What matters is if I feel like I can bare how I look. Maybe I call it skinniness when really what I want is happiness. Maybe im just looking in the wrong place. besides it is your personality which makes you beautiful and that is why ive got so many online friends...they see my personality not ME...everyone else cant see my personality becuase my lack of self esteem and body image is too apparent to everyone if anyone is in fact giving a shit lol which probably isnt the case but it could be. I would be happy being 600 pounds if i could smile and be sufficed honest. You are beautiful and I am jelous!
Your a good teacher btw

[7236]

thank you, but you have no need to be jealous.. ok? it is unfortunate that you girls cant seem to find anyone now that is interested in who you are as a person.. but you are still young.. however, think about something that you are good at and take great pride in it. when i was your age i didn't give a flying fajita about how i looked, and what people thought about me.. i used to say "if i lived my life according to what people thought or felt about me, i'd be dead already" my 'then' boyfriend hated when ever i said that.. but it did hold truth. i didnt care about appearance becuase i knew that i was intelligent, and that somewhere along the line, i would come across people who liked me for who i was inside, and have life-long friends because of it. and you know what? i am still friends with the same people i hung out with when i was in high school. don't get caught up in society's and hollywood's assessment on beauty. becuase holly wood is not the standard.. you can have perky breasts, and a firm bottom now.. hollywood wants you, but god forbid you should get pregnant, or gain a little weight.. then theyll cast you aside as if you were yesterdays garbage. that is the truth. a lot of hollywoods stars have faded out of the limelight becuase of this.

[foblin]

That's a reason I listen to rock music so much, because the fans don't care that the stars aren't muscular body builders or women prancing around in bikinis. When you buy a rock album you go thinking 'Wow! Rasputina are awesome' not 'Oh my GOD kylie is like sooo sexy'. I feel that reflects my view. I want people to like me for who i am, not what size I wear.

I used to care about how I looked but now I'm ok about it as long as I'm healthy. I was getting fed up of caring what people thought of me that I just stoodin front of a mirror and picked out my good points, personality, body and skills, and the more I did it the easier it got to find the good points

[7236]

thats true too.. i tell you that as a black woman, i am ashamed of hip hop and the people that are supposed to represent my race in the music business. all they talk about is sex, money, drugs, or guns.. and it is sad. they are all hung up on appearance.. men talking about big butts, and the women talking about big penises. it is disgusting, and sadly enough a lot of young people think that that is what is deemed as attractive.

[Graveyard Goddess]

I wish I didnt care about what everyone thinks believe me I dont like being like this....but people just say "you should give a shit just screw em" and maybe I could say okay ill say it, but i just cant think and believe it

[7236]

i know its easier said than done.. but you just have to keep at it you know?

[foblin]

It's so irritating that people think black people are 'hip hop' and 'gangsta'. It's bad enough that the music is really really bad without it being a 'representation' of a race.

It is terrible that alot of people think that way =( I find alot of my class at school thinking that sort of stuff.

[7236]

Foblin, i agree with you completely, but it doesnt help the situation if you have a lot of famous ppl living up to that stereotype. i mean seriously.. 50 cent has no qualms about pointing a gun to the camera. while in a photo shoot for his album cover. lil kim thinks that she is above the law.. it is almost as if she is trying to live the life of the person she is when she raps. these people, among others are willing to capitalize on an unfortunate stereotype, and could care less whether or not they compromise their integrity while doing it. I give a lot of credit to Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey, Halle Berry, Vivica A. Fox, Vanessa Williams, and other actors/actresses in their category.. these are famous black people who are not willing to compromise their integrity for the sake of money. You will never see Bill Cosby play a thug nigger, just like you will never see Oprah, Halle, Vivica, or Vanessa, play a crack whore or somebody's "baby mama."

[fallen]

girly I am SO not skinny hahaha but anyways...

I think you're absolutely adorable, and I LOVE the fact that you mention having a boyfriend who appreciates you for what you are. far too many girls fall into the trap of trying to please a guy and destroying their body. I'm not happy with my body, but I'm not going to change it because someone else doesn't like it, I want to change it for me, to make MYSELF feel better.

[foblin]

I agree entirly Black Angel!! 50 cent is effectivly telling people that all that stuff is good. I couldn't help but notice the the recent rise in 'yob' incidents in the UK. These people stupid enough to think that these things are 'cool' anyway are having their thoughts backed up by famous people. Can you believe that as a result of these 'yobs' people between 13 and 16 are able to, in certain areas, be escorted The Cemetary by police after 9pm even if they aren't doing anything wrong, And that in some shopping centres it is forbidden to wear hoodies or hats? It just gets ridiculous that everyone has to be punished for what about 1% of the population does!

I should probably have put this in te rant section......

[7236]

fallen thank you very much for the compliment. and you too are very pretty, you are absolutly right. people unlike any other living form on this planet, have the power to change.. and so if you dont like something, you should change it, it is just that simple. and i am very glad that you have that mentality. it would be better if all people with low self-esteem had that mentality.. it is sad when a girl already has a low self-esteem, and she ends up hooking up with some asshole (sorry) who will do nothing to boost her self-esteem, and play upon her insecurities.. and unfortunatly that is only the very beginning of these problems...

foblin, i agree that that is ridiculous, that is no different then the people here singling out moslims and people of middle eastern dissent after the 9/11 attacks.. just because the hijackers claimed that everything they did they did in the name of Allah and they happened to be of middle eastern race. there are many groups in this country that hate america. so by singling out one group, (not saying that all moslims hate america) they are creating an oppprtunity for another group. yes that is unfortunate foblin, but you know just as well as i do that it only talks 1 to ruin it for everybody.

[fallen]

black angel you are a sweetie.

I decided to not even touch the whole rap/hip hop issue because I'm currently stuck in a neighborhood riddled by drugs, where dealing is going on and I have to worry about not looking at someone for fear that they'll shoot me or something. in this case, what these rappers are talking about is kinda real for me but for them? please. 50 may have been a "gangsta" or a "thug" but now he's a spoiled untalented wannabe artist. I can't even put someone like him in the catagory of "art" because what they do, in my eyes, isn't talent. not to mention he is not living in the "ghetto", oh no he gets to live in a nice big fancy house and throw ridiuculous amounts of money around like it's nothing. ironically enough, he is currently in town tonight for his tour with eminem.

I really could go on and on about that hahaha. but you don't want to get me started on it trust me hahaha.

all I can do is try to suck it up and keep my head held high *but my eyes low to the ground* and hope that we move from here soon. it's a scary situation to be put in day after day.