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Post by crimsoncadavers [amanda] on Jul 28, 2005 14:10:15 GMT -5
"the dance of the deer"
The world is moving around me…
My body is still…my feet frozen to the ground.
I take a step forward, but it pulls me three steps back.
I find him in a cemetery…his fur glowing
The deer was dancing in the twilight…dancing in the firelight
He twisted and turned he danced so beautifully
He took my hand, and slowly we danced.
Have you ever watched the road as you were driving?
The white lines weave in and out…blurring as you go faster.
That is how we dance.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Then it faded as I stepped out of my skin.
I stood aside and watched us dance,
The deer shed his layers of fur,
He told me to watch as our cadavers weaved in and out like the lines on the road.
A light shined from deep inside my eyes…
I watched as the deer opened a box, he stole the light.
He took out another box, I looked inside.
It was a new skin…and in it I hide.
you look so beautiful...
sitting there, crying.
i told you, im no good.
i ripped out you heart.
blood is thicker than water,
and baby im sinking.
i gave you everything
and still you want more.
you fucked up
its no good
your trying to hard
to make this better
its just a waist of time
i want you to know
youre still beautiful
but you will be the death of me...
the change of seasons
The sun died long ago
And as the tide grew, it washed away my soul
Because I die every autumn
Only to be awakened by the sun
Falling so fast, now is the perfect time to die
And the leaves fall down
Oh how I despise that sound
I taste the frost on my tongue
And with December the new season comes...
Oh how shallow is this grave?
And this chill won’t go away
I cannot feel anything
I watch the winter melt away...
And the sun, it shines,
Glimmering with hateful light
And the leaves grow green
And down my cheeks
These tears oh how they sting
And with this a new season comes...
untitled
Im waiting for my world to cave.
Im begging for that touch I crave..
Forsake these empty thoughts of nothingness.
I take pleasure in the silence... be still
[and Im waiting for anything ro mean something]
Im drowning in this sea of lost hope.
...we worship skin
we pray through sin
[and Im waiting for anyone to mean anything]
I feel nothing
I taste the nostalgia, a memory of things long since passed.
...it's never coming back.
[and Im waiting to come to my senses..since losing my head]
Im waiting for my world to crumble.
...begging for the impossible
waiting for someone to mean everything
"red chapel door"
Flattery gets you nowhere
apathy gets you to exactly where you want to be.
Indigenous beings, wrapped in plastic, sheathed in thorns.
spiral down, on your knees
kiss the ground, parasitic beings.
[no one even bothered to look up]
It slithers up the spine of the paralyzed.
taunting those teary eyed tattered souls.
watch the clock, it haunts you
reminding you that the end is close..
it gets you in a spin.
goosebumps sanded down to the bone,
extatic cries,
reaching the deepest depths of nothingness..
sickness
[nothing was ever heard again... deafened sightings]
The doors opened.. so soon
they shall close
this life is short.. almost at an end.
breathing has become a sin.. dirty beasts that we have become....
[and they grew eyes in the back of their souls]
this chapel sends
no forgiveness
...untitled
I seek refuge in this razor blade.
a stinging shred of cowardice
...and no matter how much I try, It just isn't enough
no, it is never enough.
it will never be enough.
all I can do is sit and stare as the crimson dropletts of my inner being, my soul, fall to my feet.
My mind is racing with a thousand thoughts..it has become exhausted.
I will never rest.
I seek comfort in this flesh bag I call my body, the sliced up, scared up, fucked up body.
I let no one in, yet my mind is invaded time after time with pointless attempts of finding the things I hide so well...
It is not ment for others to see.
...no one saw it like we did, the pain, the blood, the beauty
...and I wonder what the end looks like...
..::untitled::..
i was not supposed to end up like this, alone... in the dark
...i just wish everything would end somehow
and I don't understand why I can't be happy until it does.
I just think something is missing
...sigh
maybe I am not trying hard enough to find it
maybe i don't want to find it
maybe i just want to sit back, and watch my life burn to cinders in front of my very own eyes.
or maybe i am waiting for something to bloom
a flower perhaps?
i wish something would burst open and scream..
..you have something to live for
I have yet to find that something.
maybe there is nothing there, maybe i just wait for nothing.
sometimes i think i am a mistake.. a glitch in gods plan for a perfect world...
a freak of nature ment for the depths of the ocean.
it makes me laugh
I have experienced everything in my sixteen years that i need to
and I can't see anything more than that when i think of my future.
...how depressing
it's as if i am not ment to see anything at all... what a concept.
one that I will never be able to get my hands on.
it will always slip through my weak clutch of desperation.
..and i am desperate enough to try to reach for it.
...everytime
someone once told me i was destined for greatness...
i feel as if i was destined for one great big mess.
I wonder what people see when they look at me..
do they see what i see everytime i look into a glass reflection?
do they see a failure? a fake? a plague? an invalid mind?
or am i just another face? another scar on the flesh of the earth?
"midnight storms"
[wow]
the world out side of my bedroom window is so___
beautiful
everything seems to be glowing with such a powerful radiance...
the lightning is so close, it's electrifying every single one of my senses.
I can smell, taste, touch, the summer storm bursting from the clouds, darkening the dusk colored sky...
i wish I could be a part
of something this beautiful...
i wish i could feel the rain against my scars
god, how i love the smell of
rain
I love being able to smell it long before it's arrival.
it's so natural
this storm...
this storm is so powerful, that it is making my whole body tingle
you can see the city lights reflecting off of the rain filled clouds..
___they are waiting to burst.
my room becomes illuminated with every angry flash of light.
and my skin is glowing
the thunder seems to be fading..
but the lightning grows with intensity
...the rain is here
[love]
[midnight]
[storms]
Yeah.. there are more.. and these aren't really even poems.. they are just little scraps I like to write from time to time..
Mmmhmm
The world is moving around me…
My body is still…my feet frozen to the ground.
I take a step forward, but it pulls me three steps back.
I find him in a cemetery…his fur glowing
The deer was dancing in the twilight…dancing in the firelight
He twisted and turned he danced so beautifully
He took my hand, and slowly we danced.
Have you ever watched the road as you were driving?
The white lines weave in and out…blurring as you go faster.
That is how we dance.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Then it faded as I stepped out of my skin.
I stood aside and watched us dance,
The deer shed his layers of fur,
He told me to watch as our cadavers weaved in and out like the lines on the road.
A light shined from deep inside my eyes…
I watched as the deer opened a box, he stole the light.
He took out another box, I looked inside.
It was a new skin…and in it I hide.
you look so beautiful...
sitting there, crying.
i told you, im no good.
i ripped out you heart.
blood is thicker than water,
and baby im sinking.
i gave you everything
and still you want more.
you fucked up
its no good
your trying to hard
to make this better
its just a waist of time
i want you to know
youre still beautiful
but you will be the death of me...
the change of seasons
The sun died long ago
And as the tide grew, it washed away my soul
Because I die every autumn
Only to be awakened by the sun
Falling so fast, now is the perfect time to die
And the leaves fall down
Oh how I despise that sound
I taste the frost on my tongue
And with December the new season comes...
Oh how shallow is this grave?
And this chill won’t go away
I cannot feel anything
I watch the winter melt away...
And the sun, it shines,
Glimmering with hateful light
And the leaves grow green
And down my cheeks
These tears oh how they sting
And with this a new season comes...
untitled
Im waiting for my world to cave.
Im begging for that touch I crave..
Forsake these empty thoughts of nothingness.
I take pleasure in the silence... be still
[and Im waiting for anything ro mean something]
Im drowning in this sea of lost hope.
...we worship skin
we pray through sin
[and Im waiting for anyone to mean anything]
I feel nothing
I taste the nostalgia, a memory of things long since passed.
...it's never coming back.
[and Im waiting to come to my senses..since losing my head]
Im waiting for my world to crumble.
...begging for the impossible
waiting for someone to mean everything
"red chapel door"
Flattery gets you nowhere
apathy gets you to exactly where you want to be.
Indigenous beings, wrapped in plastic, sheathed in thorns.
spiral down, on your knees
kiss the ground, parasitic beings.
[no one even bothered to look up]
It slithers up the spine of the paralyzed.
taunting those teary eyed tattered souls.
watch the clock, it haunts you
reminding you that the end is close..
it gets you in a spin.
goosebumps sanded down to the bone,
extatic cries,
reaching the deepest depths of nothingness..
sickness
[nothing was ever heard again... deafened sightings]
The doors opened.. so soon
they shall close
this life is short.. almost at an end.
breathing has become a sin.. dirty beasts that we have become....
[and they grew eyes in the back of their souls]
this chapel sends
no forgiveness
...untitled
I seek refuge in this razor blade.
a stinging shred of cowardice
...and no matter how much I try, It just isn't enough
no, it is never enough.
it will never be enough.
all I can do is sit and stare as the crimson dropletts of my inner being, my soul, fall to my feet.
My mind is racing with a thousand thoughts..it has become exhausted.
I will never rest.
I seek comfort in this flesh bag I call my body, the sliced up, scared up, fucked up body.
I let no one in, yet my mind is invaded time after time with pointless attempts of finding the things I hide so well...
It is not ment for others to see.
...no one saw it like we did, the pain, the blood, the beauty
...and I wonder what the end looks like...
..::untitled::..
i was not supposed to end up like this, alone... in the dark
...i just wish everything would end somehow
and I don't understand why I can't be happy until it does.
I just think something is missing
...sigh
maybe I am not trying hard enough to find it
maybe i don't want to find it
maybe i just want to sit back, and watch my life burn to cinders in front of my very own eyes.
or maybe i am waiting for something to bloom
a flower perhaps?
i wish something would burst open and scream..
..you have something to live for
I have yet to find that something.
maybe there is nothing there, maybe i just wait for nothing.
sometimes i think i am a mistake.. a glitch in gods plan for a perfect world...
a freak of nature ment for the depths of the ocean.
it makes me laugh
I have experienced everything in my sixteen years that i need to
and I can't see anything more than that when i think of my future.
...how depressing
it's as if i am not ment to see anything at all... what a concept.
one that I will never be able to get my hands on.
it will always slip through my weak clutch of desperation.
..and i am desperate enough to try to reach for it.
...everytime
someone once told me i was destined for greatness...
i feel as if i was destined for one great big mess.
I wonder what people see when they look at me..
do they see what i see everytime i look into a glass reflection?
do they see a failure? a fake? a plague? an invalid mind?
or am i just another face? another scar on the flesh of the earth?
"midnight storms"
[wow]
the world out side of my bedroom window is so___
beautiful
everything seems to be glowing with such a powerful radiance...
the lightning is so close, it's electrifying every single one of my senses.
I can smell, taste, touch, the summer storm bursting from the clouds, darkening the dusk colored sky...
i wish I could be a part
of something this beautiful...
i wish i could feel the rain against my scars
god, how i love the smell of
rain
I love being able to smell it long before it's arrival.
it's so natural
this storm...
this storm is so powerful, that it is making my whole body tingle
you can see the city lights reflecting off of the rain filled clouds..
___they are waiting to burst.
my room becomes illuminated with every angry flash of light.
and my skin is glowing
the thunder seems to be fading..
but the lightning grows with intensity
...the rain is here
[love]
[midnight]
[storms]
Yeah.. there are more.. and these aren't really even poems.. they are just little scraps I like to write from time to time..
Mmmhmm
