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Post by livingdeaddolls on Nov 15, 2006 11:22:10 GMT -5
I didnt know you at all but there you were... I could feel you suffering in your pain, all you needed was someone to care. You were a middle aged man who lived in the cornor of my street, I didnt know it was you...ashamed i fell to my feet. Because you cried out for help and it came through my dream it was so strong But i tried to figure out, who needed my help,but this time i took to long. I had these dreams b4, but this i never got a clue, Maybe if i knew who it was...i would have been able to save you. In my dream was a forest as dark as a winters night Only me and my mum walking on a hill to my torch that shone a light. I looked beyond the trees so dense because i heard a mans wail I heard you in such pain, you sounded really frail. i walked on not knowing what to do Everyday i think of that dream what you were going through... I herd how you died and didnt want to think its true, Maybe because your divorced you thought know one loved you too... Not knowing what you were thinking when you drove up so far away in those hills and dense trees As you taped up your windows the only sound was the blowin of leaves. Letting out the gas, a tear must of filled your heart, Thinking of those who you loved, from then on youll be apart. Because you cried for help saying you need someones hand But after your death and suffering you will be in a happier land.
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Nov 16, 2006 14:52:02 GMT -5
I really liked that =] it's very sad, but then kinda happy at the end.
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Post by livingdeaddolls on Nov 19, 2006 10:22:47 GMT -5
thanks! hehe
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Nov 24, 2006 12:46:30 GMT -5
great poem thanks for sharing my favourite part is
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Nov 24, 2006 12:48:19 GMT -5
id be happy to share some editing suggestions if youd like. I think the poems good as it is, but ive got some ideas as to how you can make it flow a little easier. i hope you dont take that the wrong way lol
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Post by livingdeaddolls on Nov 29, 2006 12:27:25 GMT -5
no go ahead in no way im i offended id love it if i could get better...go on!! xxx
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