Post by Leash on Oct 11, 2007 16:13:57 GMT -5
I float through transparent bliss..
Cloud-cover edging in,
wet blankets filling dark holes.
I submerge
in vexels
and
forgotten arts.
I gather words from air, bring in close
and suck
bitter juice from warm cores.
I place pulp and seeds
upon dry canvas
cracks curled and baked..
Submerge each layer.
Discard.
Lovingly
I spit-polish
broken bits off the floor,
piecing together
to create tarnished beauty.
__
I love the begining and middle, but the end really needs some work. Any suggestions? I <3 constructive criticism.
Cloud-cover edging in,
wet blankets filling dark holes.
I submerge
in vexels
and
forgotten arts.
I gather words from air, bring in close
and suck
bitter juice from warm cores.
I place pulp and seeds
upon dry canvas
cracks curled and baked..
Submerge each layer.
Discard.
Lovingly
I spit-polish
broken bits off the floor,
piecing together
to create tarnished beauty.
__
I love the begining and middle, but the end really needs some work. Any suggestions? I <3 constructive criticism.
