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Post by wingedgothgrl on Sept 21, 2005 22:59:49 GMT -5
Darlin', we all feel ugly sometimes. That's human nature. Shit, look at Hollywood...all those ppl trying to be perfect, trying to be something their not. How exausting it all must be. That constant worry of if you're ever gonna be good enough, or thin enough, or pretty enough. Doing anything to stay young looking. The palstic surgery, the dieting...it's all an illusion. It's fake. No one is perfect. There's no such thing. You are soo young and have so much more life ahead of you...I want you to have a happy heart. And I've suffered from social anxiety too. It's a real disorder, but it can be overcome. And I don't think you're afraid to meet new ppl. You've managed to put this all together and meet all kinds of new peeps. Hello, hunny, it's nice to meet you, I'm glad we're friends!!!  another quote just for you... " And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" **sending you love, light and joy **  |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Sept 22, 2005 19:45:17 GMT -5
I know its an illusion, but at least people see it! Id rather waste my energy being pretty than be me anyday. I even told my family for my 16th birthday I wanted to be happy and so they upped my zoloft dosage...and it didnt work so i said the only thing left i want most is to be pretty and have friends, but they couldnt do that either. lol bleccch In art class we have to do self portraits and im going to fail the class becuase ill never get it done it takes me an hour to get used to the idea of looking in the mirror at myself and drawing me and then another hour to try not to cry then another to be embarressed for crying in school every class everyday. lmao and I am HORRIBLE at meeting new people. internet is different becuase i can write as i please and you dont have to see me  |
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Post by tattoodvampyre on Sept 23, 2005 5:10:28 GMT -5
through out my life when i have met other women they tend to not like me, it got to the stage where i assume the woman wont like me and i worry about meeting females. Men are a different case all together its rare that they dont like me. Im not sure why females hate me on sight, but it makes it more special for me when some female does actually like me. If they take the time to get to know me there attitudes change. But i always have that awful first meeting where its obvious they dont like me. It happened at college, its happened socially. I get so overwelmed when some female does actually like me. Like my psych....the fact im doing so well with her, is that she likes me and it shows.
Also another point, i got my nose fixed a few years ago ( broke it and theres a funny story attached to that!) spent 3 days in hospital and i loved it, i was so well taken care off and made a fuss of. Its something im not used to, the nurses all were so nice and friendly they couldnt do enough for me( my aunt worked there as an auxilary, maybe that was the reason). Everyone i kno hates being in hospital...me i loved it.
Now in Jan, i got taken to hospital in an ambulance and there was a female and a male , the female was driving the guy was tending to me in the back. Well the female was so downright mean to me, it made me feel so much worse. she made me feel that i was wasting their time and even said i should get a hurry on as i wasnt the only person they had to deal with that night.
Anyway the moral of this story is, i tend to like female who likes me when they first meet me, i tend to be so grateful for the fact they like me that i just automatically think they are ok. My sis and family say females percieve me as a threat, and there for dont like me when they meet me. Its hard cos i like to be liked ( who doesnt!) and i hate to be disliked, but ive grown used to it and it does affect my daily life, i hate meeting females, *sigh*
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Post by wingedgothgrl on Sept 23, 2005 12:44:40 GMT -5
through out my life when i have met other women they tend to not like me, it got to the stage where i assume the woman wont like me and i worry about meeting females. Men are a different case all together its rare that they dont like me. Im not sure why females hate me on sight, but it makes it more special for me when some female does actually like me. If they take the time to get to know me there attitudes change. But i always have that awful first meeting where its obvious they dont like me. It happened at college, its happened socially. I get so overwelmed when some female does actually like me. Like my psych....the fact im doing so well with her, is that she likes me and it shows. Anyway the moral of this story is, i tend to like female who likes me when they first meet me, i tend to be so grateful for the fact they like me that i just automatically think they are ok. My sis and family say females percieve me as a threat, and there for dont like me when they meet me. Its hard cos i like to be liked ( who doesnt!) and i hate to be disliked, but ive grown used to it and it does affect my daily life, i hate meeting females, *sigh* That's so weird...Me too!!! Why do we do this to ourselves? I like you hunny, very much. Bob was right when he said I would totally love you!! MWAH!!!!  |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Sept 23, 2005 13:08:31 GMT -5
people dont approch me becuase i look scared! im the oposite  |
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Post by starryeyes on Sept 24, 2005 20:25:47 GMT -5
Alot of times... it' hard for teens to approach each other...we just get stuck in our own little cliques. Sometimes, i'd like to go down to your school and kick some sense into those kids who're ignoring you... you're so sweet stephie, bad things do happen to the nicest people. and it sucks. *hugs*
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Post by tattoodvampyre on Sept 25, 2005 14:11:54 GMT -5
wingedgothgirl you sure we werent seperated at birth? ;D
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Post by tattoodvampyre on Sept 25, 2005 14:18:31 GMT -5
Stephie, in the last 3 yrs i avoided meeting ppl and when i had to i felt awkward and ill at ease,ppl would comment later to who ever i was with how strange i was......i was a totally different person to the one i used to be. Now im kinda getting back to the old me and i remember years ago when we were out in the pub on a sat night my cousin saying how ppl didnt really talk to her, but that they were all floating around me, and she said that when im out i "sparkle" and im very approachable, where as she feels like she is the ice queen. Me im all smiles and im a very happy drunk (LOL) but its a state of mind. You know how you feel when you havented washed your hair for a few days and then you do and you feel a whole lot better? well thats the state of mind you need to cultivate when your out. Put some thing on wether is a hair ribbon or a pair of earrings or even a top you love, when you feel good ppl feel good being around you. Its like what some one here said about smiling, when its a genuine smile ppl will smile back at you. The ones who dont bother with you arent worth you knowing. But try it when you are at the shopping mall or whatever, if your out walking and a old person catches your eye and smiles smile back at them, it isnt easy the first few times but it gets better, unknown to all the old folk in my town but ive been using them as guinea pigs for my "smiling" at ppl exercises!
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Post by wingedgothgrl on Sept 27, 2005 0:42:09 GMT -5
wingedgothgirl you sure we werent seperated at birth? ;D You know how you feel when you havent washed your hair for a few days and then you do and you feel a whole lot better? well thats the state of mind you need to cultivate when your out. Put some thing on wether is a hair ribbon or a pair of earrings or even a top you love, when you feel good ppl feel good being around you. Seriously , this is soo freaky 'cause , my mom used to always say that to me...that when I was little, If I got a new haircut or a dress, I was in the best mood and all around me was goden and sparkly.I even had my 3rd grade teacher tell my mom I should get my haircut every day because I was sooo good in school on those days. I was a bit of a trouble maker  . And for you to have used not washing your hair as an example...*shudders*, perhaps we were separted at birth, because I always use that as an example if I feel gross or ugly or just yicky. CRAZY!!!!!  And she's sooo right Steph, smiling is contagious. I do it in my practice and while I teach and the response is sometimes overwhelming. You find out that most ppl have the same exact fears...of not being accepted, of looking silly or foolish, of being an outcast or of not being special. That's part of being human. You just have to find the power within yourself to be yourself .That's what's special. :love: |
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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Oct 1, 2005 18:33:39 GMT -5
in my school...i feel so silly smiling becuase no one smiles back...they dont even see me!
my school isnt full of cliques...instead theres...
- The super smart JAPS. Snotty, Rich, Perfect, Prepschool, Straight A, Polo shirt, giggling things who wont talk to you unless you wear european clothing or a famous designer
- The dumb JAPS. Stupid dispite thier private school education. All they really care about is money and insulthing people.
- The really weird kids. I could be friends with them but I dont want to....
A boy who wears shirts that say "Harry Pawter" and "dogzillia" and "teenage mutant niga dogs" every single day.
A girl who threatened to kill a bunch of kids because they didnt believe she was a dragon.
A girl who hunches over in her cloak coughing really loudly (never sit near her and if forced too i have plenty of hand sanitiser) when she isnt coughing she is busy pretending she is a horse. All these people get genius grades somehow
- The normal people (about 5 of them)
I used to be friends with them but then they started acting like i didnt exsist (litterally ...no joke)
and then there is
ME
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod 
Living In Sin
Posts: 2,770
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Post by foblin on Oct 2, 2005 6:55:01 GMT -5
I still think you think people think the worst of you. If they look at you , smile at them, Or talk to them. And if their friends laugh, ignore them, at least the person is being nice.
Or you could just go up to people and talk to them. sometimes people behave the way they do as an image. If you got to know some of them more I'm sure they're alot better.
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sybil4insane
Chillin in the morgue
The Kiss Konvention...slapping Gene Simmons
Posts: 339
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Post by sybil4insane on Oct 5, 2005 21:03:38 GMT -5
Stephie, I agree with what Tuzzy, Eve, and Rae has said. I love you very much and I always will. Look at me, Im forgetful, Im poor ( most of the time I can't afford gifts for all my friends although they have given me so much. I feel guilty alot that I can't give anything back), Im silly, and Im not the most attractive person in the world. lol Heck, to most people I am fat altough I am a size 16 and 6'ft tall and weigh 160 pounds. But I feel very comfortable in my skin...it took me a long time but it will happen. You are a lovely girl my dear Steph. You really are. Im jealous of your hair color to be honest I wish I had dark hair in stead I have nasty sandy blonde hair about the shade of poseys. ( that is why I dye my hair black so often) as for Cliques, they are worthless. Heck I didn't fit anywhere in high school because I collected dolls and Loved KISS. I didn't fit in with the Goth kids, the Christian kids, the Metal kids, hardly any one. but I did made good friends who I still love and adore and they aren't in any group. Me and my frind Rin dont have hardly anything in common except for Cartoons, some music, Ldds, and our hatered of Jon Cena of wrestiling fame but we are the best of friends. hehe. There will be people who not like you. There always will be. but Anger wont get you nowhere. I have at times blew up which is rare but i write it down and feel better. That is how I handle it. Standing up for yourself, you dont have to be angry you have to be firm with your belifs and stick to your guns. oh im rambling, anyho, I hope I made some sense. Im really bad at mixing up my words. |
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sybil4insane
Chillin in the morgue
The Kiss Konvention...slapping Gene Simmons
Posts: 339
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Post by sybil4insane on Oct 5, 2005 22:00:08 GMT -5
Hey Steph. I cant make you mad but I think I can make you laugh this is one of my sigs from another message board. Im sure You will get a chuckle out of it.  |
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Post by forgottenshadow on Oct 6, 2005 3:44:47 GMT -5
Stephie you are a beautiful person. On the inside and out. Getting angry does nothing. It doesn't help you or benefit you in any way. I know. I've been into fights, verbal and physical, and it only made things worse. I'm a 15 year old girl and i've lost so many friends due to my anger. You don't need it. And you don't need to change yourself for anyone or anything. Just stay the way you are. It's the way everyone loves you.
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