[trigger] Rant/cry

Graveyard Goddess
Graveyard Goddess

I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272]

Posts: 5,588

[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 15:36:53 GMT -5

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Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 16, 2005 15:36:53 GMT -5

I don’t know if this is a wasted post or not but im writing just to write as it is.
I am so upset. The biggest reason being that im getting glasses. I could get contacts but not until I can pay for them and I cant so I got glasses and im upset and I think they are okay but they make me look horrid and I almost want to laugh at myself because im acting like it’s the apocalypse and stuff but honestly I feel so upset like I can never be pretty ever because I will never be skinny again and now I am going to have glasses on my faces and I hate them and I think people look good in glasses but I look horrible because they make my nose look big and I feel miserable in them and I already hate looking at myself without them but now I cant even do..ah I don’t know what im typing this up for I feel so stupid because I know im being irrational but I really am very upset. My mom got so angry with me because I tried on the glasses and started to cry and couldn’t stop and she was embarrassed and I feel bad but I really feel like its just one little bad thing after another. It would be so funny if I killed myself over a pair of fucking glasses but honestly…the way life is going for me; I am just tumbling down the rabbit hole. I hate life. I hate myself. I hate myself for hating myself. I hate being in fear of every body and everything every day. I hate stress and the anxiety. I hate the tears and the blood and the chills and the sound coming from the air conditioner atm and I hate the scratching noise my dog is making in the other room and I hate my complexion and my height and my hair and my weight and my lack of scalability and the fact that I don’t have a backbone at all and I’m weak and I hate the way I look at myself because its like looking at another person. I hate being alone 24/7 I hate driving school its horribly scary and I hate I hate it. I hate night time because that is when I lie awake and cant sleep. If I can sleep I am having a horrible nightmare which causes me to roam in fear and depression from then on after. I hate daytime because that means I have to get out of bed and put on clothing and try to look nice for school when I never will no matter how hard I try and even if someone comments on my clothing it is a teacher who says I look nice because people my age don’t like me. Im tired of trying so hard to live. My guidance counselor and mom say that I don’t try hard enough but if this isn’t hard enough what is? I am utterly listless! I hate crying so much it hurts and it doesn’t suffice me. I hate the realization that I got a little carried away with self infliction and didn’t notice and that if my mom notices ill be put away. I hate being stuck in this world…yet so far away from a real life so far away from happiness. I hate when people say im not putting in effort because maybe its true. Maybe if I wanted to be skinny enough I would have gone running instead of pulling out another blade. Maybe if I wanted friends enough I wouldn’t be scared to ask someone to chill with me. Maybe if I’m just not sad enough to become happy.

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7236
Necrotic Newbie

I speak from the heart

Posts: 107

[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 19:48:16 GMT -5

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Post by 7236 on Jul 16, 2005 19:48:16 GMT -5

hey i wear glasses and it is just a matter of picking out a style that best suits your faces shape.. if you have a slender face
than stay away from the tortoise shell.. but it you have a fuller face.. you may want to try out the thinner frames..

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Graveyard Goddess Graveyard Goddess I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272] Posts: 5,588	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 20:41:58 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 16, 2005 20:41:58 GMT -5 i have an ugly face and thats what it comes down to...im only a little less ugly without glasses...a teeny bit....but that teeny bit means a lot
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7236 Necrotic Newbie I speak from the heart Posts: 107	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 20:44:58 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by 7236 on Jul 16, 2005 20:44:58 GMT -5 the only time a person can be ugly is if there personallity defines them as such.. always remember that. btw do you look like her? no? i didnt think so.. you are not ugly.. i dont have to see you to know that much..
	Last Edit: Jul 16, 2005 20:47:29 GMT -5 by 7236 Anime, Computers & Technology, Celebrities, Culture, Current Events, Games, Humor, Movies, Music, Relationships, Sex*, TV Shows, Sports and Much More.. Note: The sex topics are for mature (note i said "mature" and not "x-rated") discussion only..

Graveyard Goddess Graveyard Goddess I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272] Posts: 5,588	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 20:53:05 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 16, 2005 20:53:05 GMT -5 I almost look just like her!
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7236
Necrotic Newbie

I speak from the heart

Posts: 107

[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 20:59:43 GMT -5

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Post by 7236 on Jul 16, 2005 20:59:43 GMT -5

appearance is not important.. ok? it is how you carry your self as a young woman that makes you beautiful. it is also how you are on the inside. take it from me.. beauty is only temporary.. look at paris hilton. do you honestly think she is going to still look like that in 20 years? plastic surgery or no plastic surgery, she will not look like that. it you have a pleasing personality, and attitude, then that alone is what will be everlasting..

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Graveyard Goddess Graveyard Goddess I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272] Posts: 5,588	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 21:07:39 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 16, 2005 21:07:39 GMT -5 i bet she has more friends than i do! Im tired of waiting though but i see what you mean. no matter what i try to do i cant make myself seem like i like how i look which just makes it all worse
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7236 Necrotic Newbie I speak from the heart Posts: 107	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 16, 2005 21:10:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by 7236 on Jul 16, 2005 21:10:32 GMT -5 lets remedy his shall we?
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foblin
Post-Mortem Mod

Living In Sin

Posts: 2,770

[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 7:07:28 GMT -5

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Post by foblin on Jul 17, 2005 7:07:28 GMT -5

Stephie!! you're not ugly and you know it!

Glasses aren't too bad, me and Chloe both wear glasses. They don't make any look uglier. And don't compare yourself to anybody, as long as your healthy then be proud to be you! The people who care for you most love you whatever you look like. Just find a nice pair of glasses and think about how pretty you look

Graveyard Goddess Graveyard Goddess I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272] Posts: 5,588	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 11:54:47 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 17, 2005 11:54:47 GMT -5 i got purple ones so its not tooo bad
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foblin Post-Mortem Mod Living In Sin Posts: 2,770	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 12:01:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by foblin on Jul 17, 2005 12:01:55 GMT -5 Yay!! Mine are blue! But I need a new pair, I get hit in the face alot so mine are getting uncomfy cause they're so bent lol.

Graveyard Goddess Graveyard Goddess I <3 WakeToDie[F4:724185272] Posts: 5,588	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 12:08:17 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Graveyard Goddess on Jul 17, 2005 12:08:17 GMT -5 aww
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foblin Post-Mortem Mod Living In Sin Posts: 2,770	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 12:11:02 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by foblin on Jul 17, 2005 12:11:02 GMT -5 yeah, It sucks being hated because you don't dress like the majortiy of people in school

7236
Necrotic Newbie

I speak from the heart

Posts: 107

[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 12:44:11 GMT -5

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Post by 7236 on Jul 17, 2005 12:44:11 GMT -5

i'm gonna let you girls in on a fact ok? anyone who has ever hated on me when i was younger are now living with the consequences... all the girls that called me stupid or fat or a nerd in grade school and junior high school.. are doing horribly now.. the girl that used to pick on me about how i always dressed and how i was wearing clothes "from the salvation army".. shes pregnant now with her 5th child and get this... she doesn't know who fathered any of her kids. and whats even more sadder is the fact that she still lives with her mom and grandmother.. the boys who used to pick on me when i was younger.. well i see them more often than i see the other girls, and that is becuase they are still livin in the same place, on drugs, they are constantly incarcerated, and they too have a lot of kids. the funniest thing about this is that when they see me, they try to holla at me. they dont recognize me and i like that becuase when they ask for my number, i say.. "you didnt want me in high school, so what do you want with me now?" so i know that it hurts if they pick on you about your clothes and what-not.. but you know what.. you can almost see their future can't you? the most conceited girl in your school, with be a pregnant before she goes to college.

Anime, Computers & Technology, Celebrities, Culture, Current Events, Games, Humor, Movies, Music, Relationships, Sex*, TV Shows, Sports and Much More.. Note: The sex topics are for mature (note i said "mature" and not "x-rated") discussion only..

foblin Post-Mortem Mod Living In Sin Posts: 2,770	[trigger] Rant/cry Jul 17, 2005 13:26:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by foblin on Jul 17, 2005 13:26:13 GMT -5 That makes me feel better Anyway, I know I dress better and listen to better music than them I don't mind the name calling, It only bothers me when someone gets hurt.